Vacancy

director: Nimród Antal
writer: Mark L. Smith

American horror flicks these days have degraded into torture flicks with gratuitous nudity and inbred freaks. What happened to the threat of danger being more frightening than actually seeing it?

In comes Vacancy, a horror film reminiscent of classic horror movies, like Psycho. Although more visceral than a psychological thriller, the obligatory gore and screaming takes place ironically, mainly on a small screen.

The killers of the film don't need a convoluted backstory to reveal their motives. And in truth, Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale's characters didn't really need a sob story to garner further sympathy. One doesn't need to think too deeply at all to enjoy this horror movie, or most others. For example, the audience shouldn't think too deeply about how the attackers have been allowed to carry on so long. But all that aside, Vacancy is stylish enough in an old-fashioned way, right down to the credits, to deserve a view.

rating: ***/***** (a stylish horror)

recommendations: Identity, Dawn of the Dead

Check It Out: Music Edition 2

Check Out:
Paolo Nutini ~ Last Request (song)
Rooney ~ When Did Your Heart Go Missing, All In Your Head (songs)
Earlimart ~ Mentor Tormentor (album)

*If you like these, you might also like
Mika
Feist

The Bourne Ultimatum (Short)

director: Paul Greengrass
writer: Tony Gilroy, Scott Z. Burns, George Nolfi

My name is Jason Bourne.
Or not.
Who needs a name when you can kick ass and look hot doing it?

rating: ****/***** (a fun flick)

recommendations: The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy, Casino Royale (2006)

Hot Rod

director: Akiva Schaffer
writer: Pam Brady

Remember when Nacho Libre was supposed to be the next Napoleon Dynamite, but really it turned out to be a Wes Anderson film-wannabe?
Well, here's the next candidate - Hot Rod (which contains a scene that's Wes Andersonian, in contrast to the whole film).
Hot Rod is like Napoleon Dynamite meets an SNL Digital Short, or should I say SNL Digital Long?
Popular SNL Digital Shorts include Lazy Sunday (about Chronic-What?-cles of Narnia and Magnolia Bakery's cupcakes) and Justin Timberlake's Dick in a Box. And if you still have no idea what these are, then you obviously don't have too much time on your hands.
The SNL Digital Short comparison is inevitable since the movie features several SNL cast/crewmates (current Andy Samberg and Bill Hader, former Chris Parnell, writer Jorma Taccone, writer Akiva Schaffer as director, and even Lorne Michaels as producer).

Whereas Napoleon Dynamite was a comedy about serious characters, Team Hot Rod makes you suspect that deep down they know how uncool they are but are proud nonetheless - which makes them kinda cool.

rating: ***1/2/***** (a fun flick)

recommendations: Napoleon Dynamite, Bottle Rocket, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Wet Hot American Summer

Children of Men

director: Alfonso Cuarón
writer: Alfonso Cuarón, Timothy J. Sexton

What would the world be without the sound of children? Quiet, perhaps, at first. But people would not go down without a fight. And fight they do.

Twenty years in the future, women are infertile from no discernible cause. Whatever the reason, mankind has lost hope. The world looks bleak and apocalyptic.

And it's all up to Clive Owen to save humanity. I can believe that, and I say this without a smidge of sarcasm. It is up to him to deliver a miraculously pregnant woman to the Human Project. Although the specifics of this clandestine and perhaps mythological organization is never revealed, it and the girl are the last vestige of a continuing future.

This surprisingly action filled film rightly never dwells too long on the implications of a childless world. Instead, it shows the chaotic remains of mass hopelessness, and the incredible human spirit and will to survive.

rating: ****1/2/***** (a must-see)

recommendations: Black Hawk Down, Gattaca, Saving Private Ryan, Code 46

Lies & Alibis DVD

director: Matt Checkowski, Kurt Mattila
writer: Noah Hawley

Steve Coogan is not your typical leading man. He's what you might call the thinking woman's sex symbol. He's got the accent, the voice, the attitude. And he employs them well for Lies and Alibis.

Coogan plays a former grifter turned "honest" businessman who runs an alibi service for adulterers. As he informs us in voice-over, one in four men cheat while a more respectable one in ten women do; it would be foolish to judge and even more so not to take advantage of this untapped market.

It's an interesting concept. Why risk using your bad liar friends, when you can hire professionals? But lies build on lies and soon our man is dodging cops, Mormon hitmen, and indiscreet philanderers. It's a big ensemble con game with twists and turns that converge at the end. And the cast reads like a guest list at a comic book convention: Rebecca Romijn, James Marsden, Selma Blair, Sam Elliott, Jaime King, John Leguizamo, Debi Mazar, among others.
But then again,what actor these days isn't associated some way with a comic book?

The story turns predictable, as do many movies of the like. And I would liked to have seen more of the inner and outer workings of the company. The story and characters are not as intricate and charming, as say in Ocean's 11, or dark and serious as in Confidence, but it's still worth a watch for the filmmakers' style and the charms of Steve Coogan.

For some noteworthy Steve Coogan performances, check out Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story, 24 Hour Party People, Coffee and Cigarettes, Happy Endings, Around the World in 80 Days.

No special features included.

rating: ***/***** (frilly fun)

recommendations: Nueve Reinas (Nine Queens), Criminal (the American remake of Nine Queens), Confidence, The Usual Suspects, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, The Sting, Ocean's 11, Catch Me If You Can

TiVo for the Poor

Television online was the next natural step in the evolution of entertainment.

Plus, it's super cool for those of us who cannot afford or commit to TiVo.

TiVo is basically a digital VCR, but with a "brain." No more setting up your VCR timer, no more woes of recording the wrong program at the wrong time, and no more chunky video cassettes to store.

But it does mean buying the TiVo box, which comes in set number of Gigabytes, and subscribing to the service. With your TiVo set up, however, you can just let your TiVo know what programs you want and it'll automatically record and store your shows till you are ready to watch. And it'll even keep track of shows that match your interests.

But now that the major networks are making certain shows available to watch in its entirety and with limited commercials (TiVo allows you to fast forward through them) the day after they air, folks like me can cheaply enjoy programming that would otherwise conflict with our schedules.

If you're a television fanatic/freak like me, you can work out a schedule to watch missed shows at your leisure on your computer.
Not all networks and shows do it though, especially some of the more popular or less popular programs. And of course, if a show gets canceled or put on hiatus, the site will eventually remove the videos. Some canceled shows do get a bid farewell with the remainder episodes exclusively online, such as Kidnapped, Smith, and Vanished.

To make things easier, here is a brief list of the major networks and the shows currently available for viewing.

ABC (dynamic.abc.go.com)
Showlist:
Brothers & Sisters
Desperate Housewives
Grey's Anatomy
The Knights of Prosperity
Lost
Ugly Betty
What About Brian

CBS (Innertube)
Showlist:
The Class
CSI
CSI: Miami
CSI: NY
How I Met Your Mother
Jericho
NCIS
Numb3rs
Shark
Survivor
The Unit

Fox (myspace.com/fox)
Showlist:
American Dad
Bones
The Loop
Prison Break
Standoff
Talk Show with Mike Feresten
'Til Death
Vanished

NBC (NBC Rewind)
Showlist:
Friday Night Lights
Heroes
Las Vegas
Passions

Note: The availability of these shows and its episodes is subject to change. For example, NBC has only the episode of the week available, while most other sites offer several past episodes. If you're a fan of a particular program and are not sure, check. And remember, these are streaming videos so you will need a high connection.
Enjoy.

24 Things I Love About 24

The following takes place between 1 thing and 24 things. Events do not occur in real time.

1:00 Jack Bauer. A dangerous man to know.

2:00 President David Palmer.

3:00 Watching it on DVD - How do people stand waiting a whole week for each episode? I can barely wait a couple of days for each DVD.

4:00 Absolute absurd situations that make me say, "Come on!" It's fantastic.

5:00 Character elimination.

6:00 Jack's courage and ability to get things accomplished.

7:00 True allies' faith in and loyalty to Jack.

8:00 How quickly the tables turn - Plot twists that don't take seasons to resolve (ahem, Lost).

9:00 Torture (and not just interrogation) - It's nice to see on TV.

10:00 Kim Bauer's ability to get into trouble.

11:00 The rotating cast, including familiar faces now on Lost, Prison Break, and most recently Heroes and Ugly Betty.

12:00 Traitors and traders - We all want something for something.

13:00 Kim Bauer's boyfriends/love interests get treated like crap.

14:00 Information retrieval time at CTU is inversely related to urgency. The more important the information, the longer it takes.

15:00 Nina Meyers and George Mason are married. (Okay, so Sarah Clarke and Xander Berkeley are married.)

16:00 Wicked women. They can be more badass than the guys.

17:00 Framing boxes - Let's see what everyone's up to.

18:00 Cell phones.

19:00 The jam-packed day - You can get a lot done when you don't eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom.

20:00 Real time. Not really (time added during commercials). Fake real time.

21:00 Nearly every episode ends in a cliffhanger - Apparently, extreme things happen on the hour, every hour.

22:00 The ticking clock - beep Beep beep Beep beep Beep.

23:00 The man behind the man behind the man behind the man - It's a conspiracy theorist's wet dream.

24:00 Kiefer Sutherland.

Farewell Kidnapped

Where do television shows go when they die?

Television heaven? Is there a television set for every person in television heaven? Are these people glued to their TVs gripped with suspense or bawling with laughter?
Do bad shows go to television hell? Is television hell full of people with better things to do, with more intellectual and physical pursuits?

Was Kidnapped the victim of bad advertising, a bad time slot, bad lead-ins?
It could not have been due to bad writing, bad production, or a bad cast. Jeremy Sisto hailed as a man-for-hire, a retriever of kidnappees. One season of this gritty show would have revolved intricately around one case. This prematurely cut season dealt with the abduction of a rich and powerful New York couple(Timothy Hutton and Dana Delany)'s son.

Networks nowadays are quick on the draw. It feels as though every time a viewer doesn't watch, another show gets axed, and leaves the rest of us hanging. Some shows don't even stand a chance and get cancelled after only about 3 episodes. In most cases, this is not enough time to gather an audience. Shows need time to settle and develop its niche.
Nevertheless, low ratings equal television death. NBC's Kidnapped may have found a more sympathetic home on a cable network and would have at least acquired a cult status, but unfortunately, television is largely a hit-or-miss business and shows rarely get a second chance.

On the semi-bright side, the creators thoughtfully anticipated Plan B, a storyline that finishes the show in 13 episodes in case the series didn't get picked up for an entire 22 episode season. Catch these remaining episodes online on NBC or YouTube.
As I hopefully await the DVD set, I imagine the excellent show it could have been and mourn the loss.

R.I.P. Good, Promising Shows
(Cue sad music...)
American Embassy
Arrested Development
Carnivàle
Committed
Dead Like Me
Emily's Reasons Why Not
Eyes
Firefly
Freaks and Geeks
Heist
Huff
John Doe
Kidnapped
Kitchen Confidential
Love Monkey
Smith
Sons and Daughters
Threshold
Undeclared
Wonderfalls

Saturday Night Live 10.28.06

SNLove (My Two Hours of Heaven)

host: Hugh Laurie
musical guest: Beck

I looked into Mr. Laurie's blue blue eyes and they swallowed me whole.

Waking up at 4:30 AM was worth it. Standing outside in the rain was worth it. Having to blow-dry my Uggs because they were soaked was worth it. Having my heart sink in my chest in fear of possibly missing those eyes was all worth it in the end.

Sketches included "Most Haunted," "Advance Man," "Hardball with Chris Matthews," "Weekend Update" with Tim Calhoun and two gay guys from Jersey, a job interview, Frankenstein, and a hospital scene with Hugh Laurie in drag, with special appearances by Lorne Michaels and Borat (with Azamat).

Cut sketches that didn't make it to the live show include a "Lost" parody, "Evil Speed Reader," "Vincent Price's Halloween Special," and an annoying drunk guy.

Beck sang two songs, "Nausea" and "Clap Hands," both with marionette versions of the band playing right alongside in a small replica of the stage. The second song included dinnerware as instruments. Very awesome. And Mr. Laurie also had a musical treat for us with a protest song.

Overall, a great experience to watch the workings of a live show.

The Science of Sleep

director: Michel Gondry
writer: Michel Gondry

If we could live in our dreams, would we ever want to wake up? Why bother when in our dreams, the object of our affections would return our sentiments and we could ride off into the sunset together on a woven horse.

However, living in your dreams apparently has its drawbacks, like being emotionally stunted. Flirting consists of commenting on your girl's unpretentious boobs and absent penis. But then again, it doesn't get boring. Why bring your sweetheart flowers when a one second time machine makes a more "useful" gift?

Imaginative French writer/director (and music video god) Michel Gondry brings us this fanciful modern-day fairytale, starring indie film virtuoso Gael Garcia Bernal and the unconventionally beautiful Charlotte Gainsbourg. While his wonderfully fantastical Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind dealt with memories and this Charlie Kaufman-less venture deals in dreams, love is always the central theme, as in life. The reason I appreciate these films, besides their originality is the tender way they portray romance sans sappiness. I find the relationships set in these surreal backgrounds ironically real. Love is hard. People are damaged. Relationships get old and people tire of each other. Yet, we persevere and try again. And that these films can capture all this beauty in sadness with care and warmth is an achievement.

The Science of Sleep does not hold up to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (one of my favorite romantic films) in story and depth. But it is magical in its own right and surprisingly funny and perverse. And the ending will leave you with lingering thoughts like those following an enigmatic but fleeting dream.

rating: ****/***** (a definite-see)

recommendations: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Lost in Translation, Love Me If You Dare, Being John Malkovich

Hard Candy DVD

director: David Slade
writer: Brian Nelson

You may know her as Kitty Pryde in X-Men: The Last Stand, but behind Ellen Page's sweet exterior lies Hard Candy.

Visually, the film looks like candy: bright, vivid colors in the background and stark color contrasts change with the mood and tone and accentuate the angelic face of the young protagonist.

Many will think the word protagonist should be used loosely, even though older, male action hero counterparts who masquerade around in the night and slay "bad" men are considered heroes.

Whether you sympathize with the 14-year-old vigilante and condone her "extreme" actions or not, this is a fascinating look into the psychology of two disturbed people. Controversial to the candy core, the sheer audacity and balls of this film should draw viewers.

Special features include crew and cast commentary, extensive behind-the-scenes featurettes, and extended scenes.

rating: ****/***** (a definite-see)

recommendations: American Psycho, Leon (The Professional), Brick, Sin City

Don't Move (Non ti muovere) DVD

director: Sergio Castellitto
writer: Sergio Castellitto, Margaret Mazzantini (novel)

We want moments of joy to last forever, we want loved ones to stay. If only it was as simple as commanding one to "Don't Move."

A strange and wonderful Italian film starring, adapted, and directed by Sergio Castellitto, Don't Move is about love and passion, and the heartbreaking reality of grasping onto such fleeting ideas.

I didn't know much about this film before delving in, and I'm glad that was the case. This film had me expecting something completely different in the beginning and had me fascinated and consumed in the relationship by the end.

I was quite surprised by the care and attention paid to the film. Another surprise was Penelope Cruz. You'll see what I mean. I think the less you know about Don't Move before viewing, the better.

Special features include behind-the-scenes and author featurettes, Penelope Cruz screen tests, and a trailer that doesn't do the film justice.

rating: ****/***** (a definite-see)

recommendations: The Constant Gardener, Shopgirl

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (Short)

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is the stuff television dreams are made of.

What The West Wing did for the White House, Studio 60 will do for television shows. This hour-long dramedy takes a faux (or not so faux) look at the backstage ongoings of a Saturday Night Live-esque show and sees the return of Aaron Sorkin, much needed by NBC.

This intelligent show doesn't pander down to audiences. It's all about quality: quality of the actors and quality of the words. As he did with The West Wing, Aaron Sorkin assembles the best in talent and script and lets the audience soak up yummy TV goodness. Okay, okay. So that wasn't smart. But you don't have to be smart to appreciate smartness. That's the beauty of television. So sit back, relax, and smile at being able to appreciate brilliance.

The Last Kiss

director: Tony Goldwyn
writer: Paul Haggis

Babies are the new marriage and marriage is the new relationship. And relationships suck. Call me cynical.

People strive to build stability and a foundation, yet fear permanence and routine. There's just no satisfying some people.

I don't believe humans are meant to be monogamous creatures; most animals aren't. That's the beauty, and perhaps the cruelty, of nature. But that doesn't mean I'd forgive my partner's trespasses.

With divorce rates higher than ever and our role models, namely our parents, not really helping us with good examples, what chance do we have? And does that mean the next generation has less of a chance?

These are just some observations about relationships that are called to mind while watching this film. The Last Kiss is mostly a comedy dealing in heavy subject matter. Zach Braff, facing fatherhood with the "perfect" woman, Jacinda Barrett, has a freak-out and treads into dangerous territory with "this tiny brunette," Rachel Bilson. Meanwhile, his three male friends illustrate the different stages of relationships. One is a noncommittal player, another pines for his lost "perfect" woman, and yet another is married with child but miserable. Are those his choices? No wonder he falters. But there's hope on the horizon. His girlfriend's parents, played by the wonderful Blythe Danner and Tom Wilkinson, seem to be happy, until they don't.

Relationships are hard. Some work, most don't. You don't need a movie to tell you that. And don't expect any great insights in this one. It has some truthfulness, but I expected more from Paul Haggis (who wrote Crash and Million Dollar Baby), although in fairness, it is a remake of an Italian film, which I have not seen. And, as a warning, the film sort of ends abruptly, with which many of the viewers I sat in with were not happy. And is it bad that I would rather have seen the road trip part of this film than the relationship part? But as I say, you always want what you can't have.

rating: ***/***** (wait for the DVD)

recommendations: Alfie, Happily Ever After

Victor Garber Serves Up Some Justice

Justice

Good news - My favorite secret agent dad from Alias, Victor Garber is back doing what he does best, playing an expressionless professional. This time, as a lawyer on Fox's law drama, Justice.

The new series from Jerry Bruckheimer, which is three episodes in, has a typical episodic, or fomulaic, format, à la CSI or Cold Case. But it does feature a new twist at the end of each episode - a peek into the real circumstances of the crime, meaning the viewers get to see the truth of the guilt or, so far, the innocence of the defendant after the verdict. And besides the stellar partners, Dawson's Creek's Kerr Smith, Rebecca Mader, and especially Oz's Eamonn Walker, the fictional law offices of TNT & G house the latest and greatest in technological gadgetry to simulate and demonstrate for the jury (and the mock test jury) their client's innocence.

One hitch - Garber is sorely underused as an egotistical spin doctor. It's all well and good, but one-dimensional. If Victor Garber was going to be playing a lawyer, I can't help but feel that his talents might have been better utilized on the highly quirky Boston Legal. I would have loved to have seen him run wild with the other looney lawyers, develop a real character, and deliver intelligent David E. Kelly dialogue/monologues. If you don't know Boston Legal, get to know it. Denny Crane.

But I guess as long as Victor Garber's in a suit, I'm happy.

House Season 3

House, M.D.

An all new season of House has kicked off to an early start. The medical drama starring the incredibly talented and Emmy nomination-robbed Hugh Laurie as the misanthropic title character premiered its third season's first episode Meaning this past Tuesday. As we last left the dour doc, he had been shot twice by the husband of a former patient (if House wasn't so good at what he does, this probably would've happened sooner) and had asked for the ketamine treatment to reboot his system - painfree.

And as the season promos promised, we see House doing something we've never seen him do before - running (and riding a skateboard). And as if that wasn't enough, House admits he is happy. What have they done to the unlovably lovable House? Don't fret, folks. If the season premiere is any indication (House was seen grabbing his thigh and stealing a prescription for Vicodin from Wilson), House will be back to his old deprecating self, and perhaps even worse off after experiencing a taste of a cane-free life once again.

For the purists out there, turn away from possible season spoilers. Promised in the new season is a story arc featuring a policeman, David Morse, out to get our favorite pill-popping doc. And a possible episode with an incarcerated House. And for those of you who are against Cameron (Jennifer Morrison) mooning over her much older superior, House will encounter an even younger admirer.

Can't wait to collect more Houseisms on the ever growing list.

Dot the i DVD

director: Matthew Parkhill
writer: Matthew Parkhill

Dot the i starts one way and ends another. It leads you down one path only to sideswipe you before you hit the exit.

Gael Garcia Bernal stars as a poor but passionate man who woos the saucy Natalia Verbeke, fittingly named Carmen, from the rich and seemingly stable James D'Arcy. But let me tell you, he is no Mr. Darcy.

All is not as it seems in this film about... love? Dot the i begins sweetly enough, mainly because of the charms of the star-crossed lovers, but then veers sharply into kitschy territory. The viewer can sense all is not right and that someone, or perhaps all three parties are keeping secrets. But this secret was ironically unrealistic. The film puts in a twist for the sake of having a twist, and it inevitably feels forced.

Twist endings are fun if done correctly and believably, and the viewer was taken along for the ride instead of being thrown off. They are not so fun if trite and the common viewer is able to predict the outcome, or, as in this case, the viewer is hit from left field and feels cheated because of a lack of plausibility.

I may have completely turned you off to this film or have made you super curious. If you are going to watch this film - viewer beware.

Special features include commentary and deleted scenes.

rating: ***/***** (for Bernal and Verbeke)

recommendations: Read My Lips, Run Lola Run

Friends with Money DVD

director: Nicole Holofcener
writer: Nicole Holofcener

Friends with Money is about that, friends with money. Well, not exactly all the friends. Jennifer Aniston is a single maid and the black sheep of the group .

Can you believe Jennifer Aniston as a maid? Yeah, neither can I. The production people could have at least attempted to make her look a bit homely. Messy hair? Baggy clothes? No? Nothing? Okay. Nevertheless, she does have her moments as an actress. Like, take a look at her expressions as Scott Caan asks for his cuts.

The wonderfully cast friends with money are Joan Cusack, Catherine Keener, and Frances McDormand. Of special note is Catherine Keener, a staple of Nicole Holofcener's films, including the indie gem Walking and Talking. Keener is definitely an underrated actress. She can portray messed-up everyday women, as well as the object of affection of the 40-Year-Old Virgin and Being John Malkovich. And it doesn't hurt she has a cute hubby.

Special features include commentary and featurettes.

rating: ***1/2/***** (an indie find)

recommendations: Walking and Talking, Lovely and Amazing

The Departed

director: Martin Scorsese
writer: William Monahan, Sui Fai Mak and Alex Chong (Infernal Affairs)

I was recently treated to a screening of Martin Scorsese's Infernal Affairs remake, starring a bevy of Oscar and other award nominated/winning actors, Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen, and MarkWahlberg. And a treat it was to get an early viewing of this ambitious remake. The Departed takes the skeleton of its predecessor and fleshes out the details and gives it a specificity on the streets of Boston.

A cops-and-robbers film, the premise is a simple one: each side has implanted a mole, both high up in the ranks. But there in lies the possibilities. It becomes a cat-and-mouse game of suspenseful complexities.

And the acting is certainly up to par with the caliber of the cast. Jack Nicholson need only to glance at you with those naturally arched eyebrows to instill fear. Alec Baldwin does his best work not as a leading man, but as a sideliner. And Leonardo DiCaprio carries the film. And as juicy as his role was, I couldn't help thinking how DiCaprio would have also been excellent in the Matt Damon role. Also of note is Mark Wahlberg's character whose name is Dignam, which is remarkably like "Digne," a word Chaucer meant as disdainful but also honorable, which the character certainly is.

Is this an Academy Award worthy film? Well, I've come to lose faith in the choices of the Academy. It is not always necessarily the best in the category who takes home the golden statue. But then again, that applies to most award shows, if not all. And of course, a movie's chances depend on its competition. I am sure The Departed will get some nominations, possibly best adapted screenplay and best supporting actor for Jack Nicholson along with some technical nods. I would not be surprised if Leonardo DiCaprio and Martin Scorsese also receive nods. Scorsese has never won the Oscar, which is a sham considering his older films. But the Academy has been known for making it up by awarding nominees for roles/films that were less worthy. So, who knows?

rating: ****1/2/***** (a must-see)

recommendations: Infernal Affairs, Gangs of New York, Heat